why is it so hard to motivate ourselves to cook? (and what to do about it)
When I talk with my clients about the act of cooking, I find they have usually set themselves up with the best intentions - they’ve got all of the ingredients stocked, a recipe laid out and a night planned to prepare it. But when dinnertime rolls around, the thought of cooking sounds…unappealing. This isn’t a failure of spirit or even an indication that they aren’t excellent (casual) home chefs. It’s usually because of a handful of reasons that, after countless conversations, I’ve distilled down to the top 3 why we hesitate when we reach for the sauté pan, and what to try instead.
Note: I am focusing mainly on dinner here, as I have found this to be the meal that proves to be the hardest to garner up the motivation to cook.
Energy
While this sounds obvious, depleted energy is an underestimated killer of cooking motivation. If we’ve had a hard day, are sleep deprived or just haven’t taken a second to breathe, the last thing we want to do is babysit a pot of soup or a sheet pan of roasting vegetables. There are absolutely times to call an audible and order takeout or heat up something pre-prepped in these situations. But if you find yourself running on E more often than not when it comes to cooking dinner, it might be time to reframe how you actually do dinner. Shifting expectations can take the guilt off and leave you free to nourish yourself with less effort (and more of a plan).
Time
Another obvious reason it’s hard to motivate ourselves to cook is simply not having the time to do it. Social obligations, working late, or family schedules can all fill up the evening and leave very little (if any) time to even preheat the oven. In these cases, eating out or ordering takeout is the best, and sometimes the most realistic, option. But if you are looking for an option to put something homecooked on the table, there are some simple strategies that might make this less of a hurdle without extra added stress.
Complexity
There are many times I put off cooking a meal if the complexity level is too high for what I can mentally handle that day. These are the kind of recipes that generally take a lot of time, careful attention to detail or will dirty a lot of dishes. While complex meals have a definite & delightful place in life (celebrations, holidays or even just a random Tuesday night because why not), we often overestimate our motivation when meal planning (cue dreamy visions of coq au vin on a relaxed Saturday) and underestimate the actual time or headspace we will have when the day arrives. For me, even a meal that requires a homemade sauce will cause an internal groan if I’m not in the right mindset. Simplifying meals can be a game-changer for sparking motivation to cook.
To combat these potential setbacks, you may consider switching up your dinner routine with the following tips:
switch up #1: capitalize on the crockpot
if you find you have more energy (and time) in the beginning of the day, consider using the crockpot to your advantage. Prep your ingredients and pop them in the slow cooker earlier in the day. By the time you get home, you’ll have a meal waiting for you with only a couple of complements left to prep.
personal tip: I use the crockpot for times when I have evening plans and a very narrow window to cook / eat, when I know my day will be busy, draining or if I will be out all day, or on snowy weekends (because nothing says cozy like easy).
switch up #2: stick with simple
it doesn’t take a fancy or complicated recipe to create a great meal. By pairing the main building blocks of a meal (non-starchy vegetables, carbohydrates, fat and protein), and adding a little salt & pepper, you can create something that takes little time and tastes great.
consider leaning on the following:
pre-chopped, frozen, canned or fresh vegetables (like pre-chopped onions / bell peppers, frozen cauliflower rice, canned green beans, or fresh greens)
pre-cooked, canned or fresh carbohydrates (like pre-cooked rice, canned beans or fresh fruit)
simple-to-cook proteins (like shrimp or ground protein)
plant-based fats that are naturally ready to use (like nuts, avocado or olive oil)
flavors that pack a punch (like salt, pepper, citrus juice, paprika, dried herbs)
personal tip: I like to keep a list of simple meals that have worked in the past to reference when I am planning meals for the week and know I need something simple. My current favorite: ground beef burger patty + white rice + lettuce + cucumber + tomato + drizzle of olive oil + squeeze of lemon + salt + pepper.
switch up #3: look to leftovers
the ultimate balm to a lack of cooking motivation: not cooking! Leftovers are the humble hero of the kitchen. Consider doubling or tripling recipes if you find meals are getting eaten in one sitting so that you have a balanced, already-cooked meal to heat up during a night of the week when you have limited time, energy or motivation.
personal tip: I cook every meal with enough food to have for leftovers. Even if I am cooking for friends or a large crowd, I will usually set some aside for my family to enjoy for leftovers later in the week.
switch-up #4: modify your mindset
cooking can feel like just another chore to mark off of the do-to list, which can de-prioritize its importance in a daily routine. While it takes time, and isn’t easy, reframing cooking as a sacred rhythm rather than a hum-drum chore can revolutionize overall feelings, attitudes & perspectives when we walk into the kitchen. This simple mindset shift (zooming out on why we cook and what it is doing for our bodies, homes & families) may just add a little more motivation to prepare meals. I touched on this in-depth in this Writings post if you’re curious to learn more.
personal tip: preparing dinner has become so engrained in my nightly routine that I find I now look forward to it. It’s a time to slow down, put on some music, and set aside the worries / stress of the day. As soon as I enter the kitchen, it’s a cue to my body and mind that it’s officially time to unwind and nourish myself & my senses.
Energy, time, and complexity all play a role in our motivation to cook, but my encouragement is to make meals doable for your life. Lean on leftovers, keep recipes simple, and use tools like the crockpot to take the pressure off during busy or stressful seasons. Finding a rhythm and approach that fits your energy level and your schedule can make dinner feel easier, more enjoyable, and (maybe!) even a little motivating.